Dear new mom,
I know you are having a hard time right now. I promise things will get easier soon.
Life is different now, but it won't always be this hard.
Your life has changed so vastly in such a short time that you sometimes wish that you had never gotten yourself into this situation. But I promise that it will get better. Very soon.
Though it currently feels like this will be your life for the rest of your life, it won't. You will start to get little glimmers of your old self back, little by little. One day soon you will have a sense of self again. And some self-esteem to boot.
I promise that the sleepless nights won't last forever. One day you will sleep through the night and wake up and run to your baby’s crib to make sure they are still alive because they slept all night.
Know that you are not the only one who looks at their baby and resents them sometimes.It is normal to not like your baby sometimes. You still love them, and that is all that matters.
Know that it is okay that you are sometimes annoyed by your baby’s constant needs. It is annoying. But necessary.
Fuck the perfect Pinterest mommies who seem to have it all together. They don't. They cry themselves to sleep every once in a while just like you do.
Also, those people who keep telling you to enjoy every minute of this precious time? They are assholes. Don't sweat the days where you feel like you didn't do enough with your baby or that you didn't create life altering Disney-esque memories. There will be plenty of time for that in the future. Right now just try to get through the day without nut-punching your partner. I know that that is a task within itself.
Right now there is a good chance that you resemble a sea hag who is covered in spit up. Don't worry, you will be pretty again. You may not ever get back to the former self you remember, but you will be better. You will be stronger on the inside and that is what makes you beautiful. What's a few extra pounds or a stretch mark here or there when you have given and sustained life?
If you are now a stay-at-home mom who feels like she will never have a life outside of her kids again, let that go. Once you get your feet back on the ground, you will make new friends and rekindle friendships with old ones. You just have to accept that the friendships may take on a new form.
And if you are back to work and wondering why you even bothered having kids when you barely get to see them anyway, don’t worry, that feeling will go away. I know you feel like both a crap employee and a crap mom right now, but you are neither.
No matter what kind of mom you are, just be patient and kind to yourself until the tides turn. Trust me, they will. Eventually.
Being a mom will always be hard, but it will get easier. I promise. Little by little, day by day.
And remember, no one is as harsh of a critic about how you are as a mom as your are on yourself.
You are doing a great job.
Just hang in there, mama. You got this.
If you share this post, I will buy you a pony. I suck at Twitter. I am OK at Facebook. Pinterest is my bitch. I am also on Bloglovin' and Instagram.
Perfection. I wish I had read this in my desperate time after having my son. You should find some fancy font, print this on fancy paper and sell it on Etsy. Moms everywhere need to buy it for their pregnant friends.
ReplyDeleteaw, thanks!
ReplyDeleteThis post was exactly what I needed right now. As a first time mom of an almost 3 week old, you nailed how I am feeling perfectly. Thank you!
ReplyDeletehang in there, mama.
DeleteI have 4 children and this poem is perfect. thank you!
ReplyDeletegood lord! ha.
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ReplyDelete*insanely loud standing ovation
ReplyDeleteBah! Memories....they don't remember anything before the age of 3 anyway.
ReplyDeleteI was like that with my daughter. But once you make it through the first one, the second one seems like a breeze. Or at least, not as fucking hard.
This is just what I needed! I have a 6 month old that sucks at napping, and some days it seems like I spend the whole day trying to get him to sleep! I know that I'll miss these snuggly days when they're gone, though, and this is the perfect thing to get me through until then
ReplyDeleteI've been away for awhile, but this is lovely and helpful to a 4th time new mom as well. Sometimes you just need somebody to tell you it's all good because you've stopped being able to convince yourself.
ReplyDeleteFirst time reading your blog. I LOVE your voice. You're wonderful. Thank you, thank you!
ReplyDeleteThanks YOU!
Delete10 days post delivery and so tired and hormonal and sore and yea all of that. Thano you.
ReplyDeletehang in there, mama!
DeleteThis completely made my day! As I sit here watching my 3 week old daughter finally nap after being up all night, I try to keep the thought "what the hell were my husband and I thinking?!" out of my head. My daughter is absolutely worth every sleepless night, but thank you for reminding me that I'm doing everything right and that it'll get easier with time. I love your blog!
ReplyDeleteaw, thank K!
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