You might be a parent if...

• You consider macaroni and cheese and chicken nuggets a food group.
• The "Five second" rule has turned into "Meh, it doesn't have any hair stuck to it" rule.
• Having an audience every time you use the bathroom no longer phases you.
• The floor of your car could double as a Cheerio/toy skill crane machine.
• You purchase wine by the box because a bottle just isn't enough anymore.
• You haven't had an uninterrupted conversation with an adult in over a year.
• Mopping up all the water after bath time now counts as cleaning the bathroom.
• You constantly have the theme song from an annoying kids show in your head (Die, Caillou. Die.).
• You now count the seconds until another human being's nap and bed time.
• Being covered in another person's pee, poop or puke no longer elicits a reaction from you.
• If you have anything baby-shaped in your arms, you instinctively rock it..
• You now consider a decent night's sleep anything over five hours.
• An appropriate outfit is now anything that hasn't recently been spit up on.
• Cool car features went from having heated leather seats to having a built in DVD player in the back.
• You find yourself watching kids shows even when there are no children.
• You get excited when someone other than yourself poops in the potty.
• You know why the word "why" is so annoying.
• You understand why sometimes animals in the wild eat their young.

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