Advice Under the Influence: Potty Training

The thought that I am about to enter the potty training ring for a second bout makes me want to curl up in a corner with a bottle of tequila and not come out until my son is in college and has hopefully figured the whole thing out for himself. But alas, I will throw myself in front of the punches the potty has to hand out one more time so my son doesn't end up at his wedding in a poopy Pamper. After my first round in the potty training ring, I learned a trick or two. Like to hear 'em? Here it goes.

 Advice Under the Influence: Behind the Douche Canoe

First off, nothing like a good poop gag to start everything off, right? The pudding was smeared on my face for a few takes but I think that read too…um…poopy for public consumption. I was lucky to get any pudding at all with two chocolate sharks swimming about at knee level.

Around 1:18, Fatty could handle being out of the limelight no longer and decided to make her big debut…in the crapper. She is such an attention whore.

The Cool Cucumber's adorable face at 2:07 might be one of my favorite things about this whole series. Man, that kid kills me. I also love him at 2:29 when you can see him trying to "poop" like me. Ha!

Anyway. I hope you enjoyed this episode of the Advice Under the Influence. If you want to ensure that I keep embarrassing myself on the internet, SHARE IT. With everyone you know. Everywhere. Facebook, Twitter, your uncle's gay porn site, your grandma's bingo newsletter. You get the idea. The more people who watch them, the more likely that the lovely people at ulive will order up another batch of my douche canoery. Thanks so much. I will send imaginary fountains full of wine, unicorns and chocolate to all who share.

Smooches,

The Beer Bitch

If you share this post, I will buy you a pony. I suck at Twitter. I am OK at Facebook. Pinterest is my bitch. I am also on Bloglovin' and Instagram.