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Thursday, June 13, 2013

Fatty is Scary

A few weeks ago, ADD Daddy pissed off a mama and daddy bird by killing their entire family. Because he is a heartless bastard with no soul. Well, not exactly.

Actually, ADD Daddy covered a hole in our siding where birds were getting in so they would stop crapping all over our porch. But I like to go on and on to him about the sad tale of the eggs that were probably in there that have now hatched and can't escape. And how he will probably hear them screaming and trying to claw their way out soon. Not that that should keep him up at night or anything...


Anyway. The other day, ADD Daddy and I were in the backyard hanging out. There were birds everywhere. Birds with a score to settle with ADD Daddy.


While The Birds was playing out in our backyard, Fatty decided to saunter her fat furry ass outside.


And then a crazy thing happened. Not knowing what a fat useless pussy Fatty is, the birds fled in fear.

 

And then Fatty rolled over to sun her fat while we enjoyed the back yard in peace.

 


Stupid birds.

If you share this post, I will buy you a pony. I suck at Twitter. I am OK at Facebook. Pinterest is my bitch. I am also on Bloglovin' and Instagram.

Comments (12)

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Fatty is so terrifying that her mere PRESENCE makes all avian creatures scatter is pure visceral animalistic fear of their lives. True story.
2 replies · active 616 weeks ago
Also, of should be for. I swear, it's just the lack of coffee.
I love your drawing of the cat haha.
1 reply · active 616 weeks ago
Illustrated Fatty looks pretty badass. I bet real Fatty is even more intimidating to birds...at least this early on in the season. Give them a few weeks to smarten up.
My recent post Friday Funday (on Monday)
1 reply · active 616 weeks ago
I need to borrow Fatty to take care of our vole problem. She could be single-handedly responsible for saving our harvest.
My recent post Back On The Wagon – Week 5
1 reply · active 616 weeks ago
we have moles everywhere. bitch is useless.
My cat is just about useless, too. He's a lovable, useless fur lump.
Give the birds some time to realize Fatty isn't doing anything. Squirrels used to be afraid when my dog walked into out backyard. Now they cohabitat in the year. It's not right!
1 reply · active 615 weeks ago

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