Thou shalt only give in to wine. Never give in to the whine.
Thou shalt not beat thine self up over mommy meltdowns (we all lose our shit every now and then).
Thou shalt not worry about stretch marks and baby weight.
Thou shalt consider Goldfish a nutritional food group (they are both dairy and a starch, after all).
Thou shalt alloweth thine self a Mommy Mulligan when needed.
Thou shalt alloweth thine self a time out when needed (even God took a day to rest).
Thou shalt use the answer "Because I said so" at will, especially after the 13th utterance of the word "why".
Thou shall covet one of the Ryans (Gosling, Reynolds, Phillippe, you choose).
Thou shalt remember that you are the best (and only) damned mommy your kids got.
amen.
ReplyDeleteha.
DeleteTruer words never spoken.
ReplyDeleteI got all this extra awesome on my body because my almost three year old will only eat "my" food, and then only eats two bites and I get the rest. I can live with that.
ReplyDeleteNice! and sssssso true.
DeleteLove this! Especially the last one...
ReplyDeleteAnd frozen meatballs are also considered a food group in our house... wigglers like their protein. :)
Mmmmm...meatballs. So versatile. So yummy.
DeleteI might have to print this and put it on the fridge.
ReplyDeletewonderful! thanks! no matter how "emotionally okay" I am with the choices I make as a mom, I can always use a helpful reminder like this!
ReplyDeleteemotionally ok. love that.
DeleteHaha I love this!
ReplyDeleteEspecially the part about the Ryans. I love me some Ryans.
but which one?
DeleteRight On. Family life would not be "normal" without the occasional "mommy meltdown"!
ReplyDeleteso true in my house. daily.
DeleteLove this! but I will not pick a Ryan, they're all wonderful and I need variety.
ReplyDeleteTrue. Very true. Even that douche canoe Phillippe has his place.
DeleteCan I please, pretty pretty please with a cherry on top covet ALL the Ryans??!! ;)
ReplyDeleteYes, but only two at one time. Three is just overwhelming.
DeleteThis would make a great cross stitch project to give to new mommies. But, since I'm too busy blogging and don't know any new mommmies, I'll settle for printing it out and taping it to the fridge so when I screw up (for the hundredth time in a day), I can point to it and say, "I got rules!"
ReplyDeleteLoved it! :)
OMG this would be the best cross stitch ever. i want a dirty cross stitch!
DeleteLove Love Love it!
ReplyDeleteHa! Love this site! We have primary custody so I am a full time step mommy right now and hope to be a mom to be here soon and I just love reading what you have to offer. So thank you!
ReplyDeleteThanks!
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