Confessions from a fellow Boozehound
While
feeding my daughter the other day, she stuck her hand in the bowl of
sweet potatoes. Rather than walk across the room to get a napkin (and
give her the time to rub the potatoes in her
hair), I simply stuck her hand in my mouth and licked off the sweet potatoes myself.
ILBAB says: This
sounds like a two-fold win. First, you averted the dreaded task of
having to bathe a baby. Second, you provided your body with some complex
carbohydrates. Carbo-loading while time-saving? You are a genius, my
friend.
While at a party in college, I
drunkenly dropped my pack of cigarettes into the toilet I had just peed
in. I fished them out pretty quickly, but they were still a little soggy
when I lit one up later. Rather than haul my inebriated self off the
sofa where I was lounging to throw them away, I just tossed the pack a
few feet away from me. A couple minutes later, this guy that I had been
flirting with walked up, found the cigarettes, exclaimed over his good
fortune, and lit one up. I politely declined when he offered me one and
decided that I would NOT kiss him that night after all
ILBAB says: Having
the wherewithal to not make out with a hot guy because he smoked your
pee-soaked cigarettes proves you are one classy lady. I can not say that
I would have had the same better judgement back in my college days. I
put the "ass" in classy.
The Confessional is now open. Have something you need to repent for? Feel free to send me your sin and I will help your purge your demons.
I still lick my 3yo's hands on occasion. I mean, I TRY to get him to do it himself first, but sometimes he misses a spot...
ReplyDeleteWhoops, I didn't think that first one was that bad at all. The other day I did the same thing to my nephew when he put his hand in BBQ sauce. I knew his mom (my sister), who was carrying him, doesn't eat BBQ sauce. Seemed like the most efficient solution to the problem.
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