This is an actual conversation that happened between myself and ADD Daddy over dinner the other night.
ADD Daddy: I went in on lottery tickets with a bunch of people at school today.
Me: Sweet. If we win the lottery I am so buying a Honda Odyssey.
ADD Daddy: Wow.
Me: I know, right? It is going to be totally sweet.
ADD Daddy: No. I meant "Wow, that is super lame."
Me: No, I want a tricked out momwagon with TVs and leather seats and 87 cup holders.
ADD Daddy: Yeah. Wow. Dream big, baby. Dream big.
Me: Shut up. It is going to be awesome and now that you are being such a dick about it you can't ride in it.
ADD Daddy: Bummer.
Me: Anyway. We might actually win because people from around here are always winning. Its crazy.
ADD Daddy: What do you mean?
Me: I mean people from St. Louis and Missouri are always winning the lottery.
ADD Daddy: You mean winning the Missouri lottery?
Me: Yeah. It is awesome. We just must be really lucky.
ADD Daddy: Yeah, that is because it is the Missouri lottery. The winner is always from Missouri.
Me: Oh. That makes more sense.
ADD Daddy: I fear for our children.
Me: Fuck you. You put dish soap in the dishwasher. I win forever. (leaves room triumphantly)
Sounds like ADD Daddy is the same as Bayou...they just LOVE to push your buttons!! I frequently just say things without fully thinking them through and he cannot wait to throw some logic in my face!!! Ahhhhh Marriage......
ReplyDeleteIf you win, you're flying out to visit me for our "blog conference." And you're buying the drinks, too.
ReplyDeleteSo I'm totally rooting for you to win.
If you aren't supposed to put dish soap in the dish washer, then they shouldn't both have "dish" in the name. Also, I'm always getting told off by my wife and in-laws (who we're currently living with) for not following dish-cleaning and dishwasher etiquette appropriately. But, I've just got so many other awesome things going on in my head! Like, robots. And spaceships.
ReplyDeleteSquirrel!
DeleteMy husband recently did the lottery thing with some coworkers, and I TOTALLY said the same thing. That I wanted a tricked out van. All the shit. Loaded.
ReplyDeleteHe just stared at me. Like...of all the things you could hope for, you want a VAN?
Yes. I'm old and I have many children and I want to press one button and have all my children magically float into a vehicle with no work from me.
Exactly!
DeleteInstead of a sexy sportscar, my dad lusted after the Honda Odyssey for years. He finally got the tricked out, fancy version when he hit his midlife crisis at 59.
ReplyDelete