Things I Want to Teach My Daughter

 We all know the posts about what we want to teach our daughters. Love, dance, stop and smell the flowers, etc. That is all fine and good, but I need my daughter to learn a few more lessons that are a little less puppy dogs and rainbows and a little more true-to-life. Such as:


Cigarettes are gross.

Herpes and babies are forever. Use protection.

Stick up for yourself, even if you think it makes you look like a bitch.

Don't take shit from a man.

Don't let anyone make you feel like you aren't good enough.

Sex won't make anyone love you. Love will.

Don't be afraid to take life by the balls.

Don't be too proud to become a wife or a mom.

Never think you are better than anyone else.

Don't judge those you don't know.

Never bully those you feel are weaker than you.

Looking like a hooker never impressed anyone.

Bottom lid liner weaves a fine line between crazy goth girl and well made up. Be careful.

Remember to look up from your phone/computer/television screen every once in a while.

Don't be afraid to show your weaknesses.

Cigarettes are gross.

Never start sentences with the word "like" or end them with "so…". Just don't.

Don't hide your intelligence to make a man happy. If he is smart enough for you, he will think you being smart is attractive, not intimidating.

Don't gossip. It only hurts people and makes you look immature and childish.

Think before you speak. Diarrhea of the mouth runs in the family.

The pounds will come and go. Don't waste your life worrying about them.

Use your vacation time. They give it to you for a reason.

It is ok to smoke a joint or two, but anything harder than that is going to end badly. Trust me.

Never ditch your girlfriends because you have a boyfriend.

Seriously, cigarettes are gross.