Parenting Perspective

As Beyonce has taught many of us, perspective is important. Often, as parents, we lose our perspective, along with our collective shit. Here's a little advice to help you find that elusive perspective.

Keep the big picture in mind, not the little details
If you can't find the red-and-white checkered table cloth that you have scoured 25 stores for because it will go perfect with your farm-themed birthday party, the party will still go on. Your kid will still eat so much cake he wants to throw up, your kid's friends will still trash your house while having the best time EVER and you will still need a cocktail to survive it all. We sometimes get wrapped up in the details of it all and forget to look at the big picture: this is your child's birthday party and all they care about is cake and presents. You are the one that cares about matching centerpieces and a coordinating menu. Let it go. Try to see what is really important in every situation and let the niggling details fall to the wayside while you open a box of wine and lighten up about being perfect all the time.

Stop to smell the dirty diapers roses
With work, daycare dropoffs, Drs appointments, school programs, dishes, groceries, potty training, dirty diapers, etc., us moms have a lot going on. This sometimes makes it hard for us to enjoy the small things, like the hug our toddler gives us without prompting while we are trying to clean their Cheerios off the toilet. Let everything slide once in a while. Let the cleaning, laundry and the dishes wait until the kids go to bed. Hell, it is easier cleaning without the path of destruction following behind you anyway. The point is, stop being so busy that you don't enjoy life. Instead of hyper-planning a "fun" day at the Zoo filled with every awesome thing you can think of, head to the backyard and play a game of tag with your kids. Chances are you will both enjoy it more than some crazy outing.

It isn't that big of a deal
We parents often spend too much time making a big deal out of nothing. So you dropped the paci on the floor of a restaurant and stuffed it back into your baby's mouth rather than go to wash it properly and prompt a raging fit; so you sent your 3-year-old boy to school in his sister's Barbie undies because his were all dirty; so you forgot to bring your organic, gluten-, dairy- and soy-free fruit snacks for your kid and fed them regular ones instead; so you realized you were out of diapers after your daughter had a blowout at the pediatrician and had to ask them for a spare. Life will go on. These things are not that big of a deal and, chances are, your kids will not be permanently scarred because you bought store-brand formula and not Similac. Kids are like rubber bands. They are flexible and snap back from everything. We parents need to learn to do the same and give ourselves a break every now and then.

It's OK to not be a Gwenyth
With today's changing society, a mommy can feel like total shit if she doesn't use cloth diapers, breastfeed until her kids are in college, feed them only organic diets, rid their household of all plastic, etc. In my book, if you manage to get healthy food in your kid 50% of the time, CONGRATS. Don't sweat the 50% of the time that you throw McNuggets at them because you are late for your kid-induced lobotomy. You don't have to make your own toilet cleaner from gypsy tears in order for your kids to grow up normal. It is OK to give into temptation once in a while. No, this doesn't mean giving your kids a turn at the keg. It just means to lighten up and let them eat a real cupcake every once in a while. Fuck Gwenyth. Her kids are named Apple and Moses. They are screwed no matter what she feeds them.

Things could always be worse
Yep, your kid flushed another diaper and flooded the bathroom with poo water. Yep, your dishwasher broke the same week as the dryer and the air conditioner. Yep, your kid got lice and spread it to the entire t-ball league and you are now the talk of the mommy town. Yep, you burned the lasagna when you have had the worst day ever and the kids are screaming at you for food. Yep, your infant puked all over your brand new outfit right before you were about to head out for your first date night in months. So what? Your kids could be in a hospital bed instead of driving you crazy in the car. Your house could have burned down instead of just needing a few repairs. Take a deep breath. Walk away from the situation for a few minutes. Down some "Mommy Juice". Then head back into the battle guns blazing and kick some mommy ass! It could always be worse.