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Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Bloated? 10 Tips for a Flat Belly

WebMD just sent my pregnant a$$ this email, "Bloated? 10 Tips for a Flat Belly." Here are my tips for myself:
  1. Stop getting pregnant.
  2. Stop having sex so you don't get pregnant.
  3. Stop eating ice cream and candy after every meal.
  4. Sugar-coated cereal is not a food group.
  5. Eat a vegetable. Just one. I swear it won't kill you.
  6. Chocolate-covered strawberries don't count as fruit.
  7. Walking two miles doesn't make up for eating a whole cake.
  8. Salad is not the enemy.
  9. Beef is not always what's for dinner. Chicken is nice, too.
  10. Listen to Michelle Obama. She is a nice lady.  

1 comment:

  1. Steven Tyler's PJsAugust 31, 2011 at 8:29 AM

    Chur. I only agree with the last two, sadly. But I did buy TWO apples at the grocery store last night! You don't think the caramel dip counteracts that, do you?

    ReplyDelete

I love hearing from you. It reinforces that writing this blog is not just a silly waste of my brain matter. If you leave a douche canoe comment, I will delete it. I am powerful like that.

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