On yesterday's subject of dumb things people say, I figured I would dust off some old stories of mine and share them with you. Today, our installment is called:
Stupid Shit People Actually Said to Me While I was Pregnant
“Was it a surprise?” Well, no. By 29, I hope I am smart enough to have figured out the whole birth control thing.
“You know, with your bigger butt and wide hips, you will be able to hide being pregnant for longer.” Um…great, because being that I am 29 and married, I was really hoping my big ass would help me hide this unwanted teen pregnancy from everyone.
While walking back from the vending machine at work, a lady said to me, "Are you and that baby eating candy again?" Bitch, I will stab you.
I had someone ask when I was due, then after I told her in four months she responded, "Wow, you big." "You way bigger than Diane (who was due in, like, 15 seconds)." Wow, thanks for that. Let me see if I can waddle my huge ass out of here before I punch you in the neck.
While deep in my cavity-filled mouth, my dental hygienist proceeded to tell me about her and her daughter’s late-term miscarriages, and then get really sad. This was the first time I had met her. Good to know, thanks.
"While walking back from the vending machine at work, a lady said to me, "Are you and that baby eating candy again?" B*tch, I will stab you."
ReplyDeleteThis is the greatest thing I've ever read (because it didn't happen to me.) HOW DID YOU RESPOND?!
I am pretty sure with with flames shooting out of my eyes. Ha.
DeleteThanks for sharing. These comments gave me a good laugh. I guess that's what I have to look forward to. :)
ReplyDelete