Yesterday at I had my first bad experience ever at the chain that I consider a gift from God filled with delicious cheeses, dark chocolate covered cherries and dirt-cheap, yet drinkable wine.
While checking out at Trader Joe’s, the 20-something cashier tilted her head and said to me, “Awww, how are you feeling?” Taken off guard I looked at her and said, “Fine. How are you?” The in hit me: 20-something thinks I am pregnant. Not only pregnant, but large-and-in-charge enough to comment on it. Not 100% sure this was the case, I continued to check out without punching her in the neck. Then she said to me, while holding my whole mini watermelon and one bag of groceries, “Are you sure you are OK? Do you need help out?” Me, “Um, no. I got it. Thanks.”
Though I managed to not start the revolution on her in the middle of a public place, I will now be burning the dress I was wearing and cutting back on the dark chocolate covered cherries. Damn you, devil cashier. I love Trader Joe's dark chocolate covered cherries almost as much as I love their $3 bottles of wine. F*ck it, maybe I will just drown my sorrows in cheap wine and expensive cherries. That aughta show her!
I once got on the elevator on the 11th floor of a building to a women who said- "Oh- look how cute you are! When are you due?!" I explained "not pregnant, just fat" and she proceeded to continue the awkwardness for the 11 freaking floors. The "oh no, that was horrible of me!" i couldn't help it- everyone else on the floor seems pregnant" all other wonderfully horrible statements. it.was.awesome.
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